Being able to persuade somebody is a powerful skill that very few people take the time to develop. Because you are reading this article, you will soon know the powerful steps to take to make people your obedient servants. Ok, not quite, but you will have some persuasive skills that not many people have.
First, you need to get rapport. Rapport is that feeling you get when you feel comfortable with somebody. Like if you are traveling in China, and bump into somebody that went to your high school for example. You'd feel a special connection with this person.
This is actually pretty easy to do. Salespeople do it all the time. Just match the physical behavior of your target as closely as possible. Body language, how they are sitting or standing, how fast they talk, even the words they use. If they cross their legs, you do the same. This works great while sitting in a meeting at work.
After you've established your connection in their world, it's time to get their criteria, or trance words. These are the words that are beneath the answers they usually give about what's important to them. What's important about going to Hawaii? I want to relax with my family. What's important about relaxing with your family? We really improve our relationships. What's important about that? We can share our lives. Of course, pepper these questions over the conversation. Don't rapid fire them like a police interrogation on Law and Order.
The third step is to show them how doing what you want them to do, (your outcome) they will achieve their criteria. Again, this is much easier than it sounds. For example, if it's a date, and the word you get is "happiness," you can explain how your niece or nephew feels really happy when they are with you.
It's best to elicit three or four words that you could use as leverage, and spread them out throughout your conversation. Also, try and describe whatever it is you want them to do in different terminology, so they don't think you are hitting them over the head with an agenda or anything.
One way to do this is to tell a story.Somebody you know of that is very similar the person you are with, who experienced the same thing they want to by doing what you'd like them to do. If you can describe your outcome three or four different ways, tell three or four different stories. They'll think you are a great story teller, and will magically want to do whatever it is you set out to persuade them to do.
So there it is, in three easy steps. Create rapport, elicit criteria, and connect their criteria to your outcome. It will seem clunky and unnatural at first, but the more you do this, the better you'll get.
First, you need to get rapport. Rapport is that feeling you get when you feel comfortable with somebody. Like if you are traveling in China, and bump into somebody that went to your high school for example. You'd feel a special connection with this person.
This is actually pretty easy to do. Salespeople do it all the time. Just match the physical behavior of your target as closely as possible. Body language, how they are sitting or standing, how fast they talk, even the words they use. If they cross their legs, you do the same. This works great while sitting in a meeting at work.
After you've established your connection in their world, it's time to get their criteria, or trance words. These are the words that are beneath the answers they usually give about what's important to them. What's important about going to Hawaii? I want to relax with my family. What's important about relaxing with your family? We really improve our relationships. What's important about that? We can share our lives. Of course, pepper these questions over the conversation. Don't rapid fire them like a police interrogation on Law and Order.
The third step is to show them how doing what you want them to do, (your outcome) they will achieve their criteria. Again, this is much easier than it sounds. For example, if it's a date, and the word you get is "happiness," you can explain how your niece or nephew feels really happy when they are with you.
It's best to elicit three or four words that you could use as leverage, and spread them out throughout your conversation. Also, try and describe whatever it is you want them to do in different terminology, so they don't think you are hitting them over the head with an agenda or anything.
One way to do this is to tell a story.Somebody you know of that is very similar the person you are with, who experienced the same thing they want to by doing what you'd like them to do. If you can describe your outcome three or four different ways, tell three or four different stories. They'll think you are a great story teller, and will magically want to do whatever it is you set out to persuade them to do.
So there it is, in three easy steps. Create rapport, elicit criteria, and connect their criteria to your outcome. It will seem clunky and unnatural at first, but the more you do this, the better you'll get.
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